People Who Ride Longboards

I see you jots riding around campus. I get it. You like to skate, or you like to surf, or at least you like people thinking that you like to do either of these activities. You want to let people know that you're so chill, that you love Jack Johnson, and that you care about our Mother Earth.

Here's a thought: wear a shirt. It doesn't matter if it's Hurley, or Quicksilver, or some other jot skate company. We'll get the picture. You don't need to bring your obnoxious board out into the open and swerve all over the walkways around campus and make people avoid jot collisions.

Before today, I tolerated you jots. I bit my tongue because I thought, "Well, I guess if I knew how to skate and I was in a hurry to get to class, that might be a viable option." No.

Today, one of you jots passed me on my walk to class. I was running late, and I figured you were in the same situation, so I again quietly accepted your form of transportation. Until I caught up with you. Sure, you cruise downhill areas and casually glide through flat land, but carrying that big obnoxious glorified toy slows you down when you come to any area of campus that is un-skateable, which on this campus comprises of most of the territory.

You aren't saving time, and you are being a jot hazard? I will not stand for this.

Express your love for your jot culture in another way. You're in college now. I would have expected you to leave your toys at home with your Soap shoes and your Tech Decks.

This is why you're jot.