Congratulations.. or shall I extend my condolences. I'm not sure which. Mr. Hammarsted, Second Mate on the Steve Irwin of the Sea Shepherd is the newest addition to the JOT wall of shame.
First off, I'm all for the anti-whaling movement. But, man.. you're really trying hard to sabotage this thing. You had a good thing going with the last crew, until most of them deserted because of your ludicrous anti-alcohol-dry-ship policy.
FACT: Jots support prohibition.
Seriously, you guys are pirates. I've never heard of pirates that don't take rum to the face like Paula Abdul at an American Idol open bar. So you've contradicted yourself.
FACT: Jots are squirrely.
You probably weight about 120 lbs and have like 10 pubes on your face, which you call a goatee. Extra jotty. Oh and that pony tale needs to go. ASAP.
FACT: Jots use mind control techniques to get what they want.
Ok, so you are, in fact, canoodling with Amber, the hottest girl on the ship. But seriously, how many forget-me-nows did that take?
FACT: Jots are poor leaders.
Peter Hammarsted, 10 consonants, 5 vowels and 0 leadership ability. Since the new crew has come on you've successfully blundered a mission and had crew members break a thumb and shatter a pelvis. Just jump off the boat already.
Mr. Hammarsted, I hope the Japanese harpoon you. Because that's what we do to jots.
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