Aaron Heilman

In honor of Aaron Heilman being traded from the Mets to the Mariners, I have decided to dedicate the inaugural Jots Go Home Blogpost to him.

First off, Aaron's name starts off with the same letter twice. That's pretty jotty.  Aaron is the aardvark of names, and I've never met anyone that actually liked aardvarks or had cute pictures of aardvarks as their wallpaper on their computer. Fuck aardvarks.

Also, Heilman is from Indiana.  Name one respectable person that ever came out of Indiana. I really can't.

He majored in "information management systems" and "philosophy".  Who the fuck does that?

Not only was his record 3-8 this year, he continued to disappoint Mets fans everywhere almost every time he went to the mound.  Also, if you're going to pick a Rolling Stones song as your song when you come out onto the field, pick something less cliche than "Paint it Black". JOT.

And that's all the jottery that's fit to print for now.